Letting Go
by snowball3
Summary: This a prequel to my short story Regrets. Yuki gets a phone calling telling him that Shuichi has been in an accident.
1. Chapter 1

A/N. This chapter has been proofread and reup loaded.

The night that he received the call, it had felt as though he were dreaming. Everything that been right in his world was suddenly snatched away from him, and the only thing that he could think about, were the words that had been exchanged right before Shuichi had walked out the door…

"I don't care how long you'll be gone, just that you're out of my hair," Yuki snapped as he grabbed a beer from the fridge.

"But Yuki, we won't be back for a month, can't you at least give me a nice goodbye?" Shuichi cried as tears filled his eyes.

"No. I can't. You've been making a nuisance of yourself ever since you learned you had to go on this tour," Yuki informed him as he walked back to his study. He had an angry expression on his face, and he looked like he could care less if Shuichi stayed or left.

"F-fine," Shuichi whimpered, trying to keep his tears in long enough to get out the front door. He didn't want to be feeling this sad when he wasn't going to be able to see Yuki for such a long time.

He turned to pick up the suitcase that he had left by the front door. Just before he walked out, he looked one more time at Yuki to see if he was going to change his mind, but he was met with the same contempt and cold expression that he had been getting all night.

"Goodbye... Y-Yuki," Shuichi whispered, as he walked out the door and out to where Hiro was waiting for him.

The whole time he could feel tears pouring down his face. He had made up his mind. After this tour, he was moving out. He had slowly begun to realize that Yuki was never going to give him the love that he so desperately wanted from him.

When he had climbed up behind Hiro, he struggled to get himself under control. Hiro gave him a concerned look, but Shuichi just shook his head and snuggled closer to the back of his best friend. He felt the heat seep into his cold hands, and he felt like he had come home. Here was someone who loved him, for who he was, and accepted him with all his faults. He still loved Yuki, but he was slowing dying inside. He felt like a plant that was getting some light, but not enough to keep it alive. And as he felt the familiar thrum of the motor between his legs, he vowed to try and do better for himself. He knew that he would never be able to forget Yuki, but he hoped to find someone that would love him without conditions.

Yuki flinched as he watched the door close, and heard the soft thump that it had made, as it settled into place. It had sounded so final the way that Shuichi had said goodbye. Yuki shook off the chills that had crawled up his spine, and walked back into his study to try and finish his novel.

Throughout the following days, he could not seem to shake off the feeling that he was never going to see Shuichi again. Every time he lay down, he reached across the bed for the familiar warmth of his lover, only to feel nothing but cold sheets. It had never been like this when Shuichi had gone on tour before. When the door closed, he felt an important part of his life ending.

And every morning, he awoke, expecting to hear the familiar sound of Shuichi rushing to get ready for work. His clothes and all his personal belongings were still there, but the life and warmth that Shuichi had seemed to bring with him was gone.

The night that he received the phone call he had felt like something tragic had happened, but he just shook it off as superstitious nonsense. At first the gravity of the news didn't sink in, but as he sat there with the words running through his head, he realized that his worst fears had come to pass.

"Yuki, I need you to sit down if you are not," came the concerned voice on the other end of the line.

Yuki rested his hip on his desk, refusing to believe what he was being told. "No, just tell me what happened," Yuki demanded, none of the anguish that he was feeling showing in his voice.

"There has been an accident, the bus that Shuichi was on hit an icy patch on the road and lost control. There has been no report yet if anyone survived. The bus was traveling on a steep mountain road and when they hit the ice the bus spun out of control and crashed down the mountain."

"All right, then call me when you have more news," Yuki said in a strangely calm voice. Inside he was shaking, it had finally sunk in that he might never see his lover alive again. There had been so much left unsaid between them. And he was running out of time to tell Shuichi how much he had meant to him.

"Yuki, are you going to be alright?" came a worried voice, through the phone he still held.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I will talk to you later." Yuki said as he dropped the phone back into its cradle and mechanically walked over to look out the window. There in front of him was a blizzard, but all Yuki saw was his life slipping through his fingers. He had already lost someone that had been close to him, and now he was losing another, and there was nothing he could do about it. He leaned against the window, and as he looked out into the cold dark night, he let out the tears that he had been holding in as he talked on the phone. He cried for the lost chances and for the young life that had been taken too soon. Eventually, he made it to bed, but that only brought back more memories he would rather not face. As he laid there, he remembered all the times that he spent with Shuichi in the very bed he was lying in, and all the times he had kicked him out it for some stupid reason or another. When sleep finally claimed him, he was haunted by images of Shuichi laying bleeding in a ditch somewhere.

The wind was blowing snow all over the road making it almost impossible to see more than a couple of feet in front of him. Despite the snow and wind, Yuki felt strangely warm as if he was wrapped in a warm blanket instead of standing in the middle of a frozen road. As he walked along trying to place where he was at, he heard a sound like some was in pain. He turned toward the sound and started to walk toward it. As he got closer to the source he could see something moving around. Before he got close enough to see what it was, it made a move like it was standing up, and Yuki gasped in horror when he realized that it was Shuichi and he was covered in blood.

When Shuichi started walking toward him, Yuki heard what sounded like a rushing sound and he started to feel the cold wind the was all around them. In his bed Yuki shifted around uneasily as the cold air drifted over him from the window that had been opened by the wind. Back in his dream Yuki was backing away from the bloody Shuichi. Shuichi looked at him in betrayal as when he noticed Yuki moving away from him.

"Why do you always leave me?" he asked in a curious voice as he continued to move toward Yuki, the blood slowly oozing down his face from the cut over his left eye.

Yuki shook his head in denial as he felt his back hit a tree, "You are to much, you ask to much, there is only so much I give to someone and you want more than I want to give," Yuki replied as he watched Shuichi moving toward him. Despite the blood and other things covering Shuichi, Yuki felt a stir of desire for him. It had been to long since they had seen each other and after the news that he had received before he had gone to bed all he wanted to do was hold him.

Shuichi gave a mirthless laugh as he stopped a few feet from where Yuki was pressed against the tree, "All I have ever asked from you was your support and love, but even that little bit you refused to give to me."

Yuki watched as tears started feeling Shuichi, and he realized with a pang of sorrow that it was an all to familiar sight. "I'm sorry, Shuichi, for all that I have done to you. I wish I had been able to tell you before now, but I love you and I want you to come home to me," Yuki said as he reached out for him. Shuichi closed the last couple of feet between them, but when Yuki finally got him in his arms he realized that something was not right. He pulled back to look at Shuichi's face and he saw that although his eyes were opened that was no sign of life. Horrified he made to drop him to the ground and found that they were already on the ground. When he felt movement he scrambled away from him, and Shuichi turned he head and looked at him with dead eyes.

"Come, Yuki join me in my sleep so that we can be together always," he held out a small bloody hand and beckoned for Yuki to take it. Yuki felt the urge to throw up, but started to reach out despite his revulsion of the blood. Before their hands could touch he heard a ringing sound that did not belong in this dream. He woke up abruptly when he realized that is was the phone ringing.

As he groggily reached for it he wondered why it felt like his head was stuffed with cotton and his eyes burned. Just as he was reaching to pick up the phone the night before came rushing back to him. As he remembered crying himself to sleep, he picked up the phone, hoping for good news.


	2. Chapter 2

a/n: as i was looking over this chapter i noticed quite a few mistakes hopefully i fixed that. if anyone notices any more please tell me.

"Hello."

"Eiri, I need you to come down to the hospital, They managed to get to the wreckage, but it doesn't look good. Because of all the snow it has been almost impossible to get everyone out."

"But they did get Shuichi out? Is he alright?" Yuki asked trying to keep the hope out of his voice.

"Whoa, slow down one question at a time. Yes, they got Shuichi out, but I don't know what condition he is in. I do know that it doesn't look good. Just come to the hospital and you will get a full report there."

"Alright, I will be there in twenty minutes," Yuki replied as he stood up from the bed.

"Wait, Eiri, it takes at least thirty minutes to get here, and that is if the traffic permits it."

"It won't take me that long to get there."

"There is no need for to kill yourself, Shuichi is in surgery right now, so there is nothing for you to do but wait."

"I don't care how long it takes, I want to be there when he gets out," Yuki said as he stood up from the bed and walked over to his closet. As he pulled some clothes from the hangers he listened with half an ear to the rambling going on, on the other end of the line.

"Look, unless you are going to tell me what the status on Shuichi is, I'm going to hang up this phone," Yuki snapped growing tired of the persistent chatter.

"I would rather wait until you got here before I go into detail," came the hesitant reply.

Yuki froze when he heard this. "Why, what's going on? Is Shuichi alright?" Yuki asked as he dropped down to sit on the bed. He had tried not to think about the possibility of Shuichi being seriously hurt, but it seemed that his prayers had been unanswered.

"Look, like I said I would prefer to tell you face to face, so just come down to the hospital and I will answer any questions you might have."

Yuki fought to keep from yelling, it didn't matter if he was told over the phone or in person the waiting was about to drive him mad. "Fine, I will be there in twenty minutes," Yuki said through gritted teeth.

"Eiri, please be careful."

Yuki ignored the last attempt at getting him to drive at a reasonable speed to the hospital. After he finished getting dressed, he brushed the nasty taste out of his mouth, and hurried out to his car. When he got outside he was almost blinded by the snow. At least three inches had fallen over night, and for once Yuki was grateful that the apartment building provided a parking garage. As he pulled out of the driveway he turned the radio to the news station so he would know if there had been any accidents. The whole time he was speeding toward the hospital, he tried not to let his imagination get away from him.

When he pulled in front of the hospital, he saw that Tohma was waiting for him in front of the visitors door. After he parked and hurried over to the doors, he saw that for once Tohma wasn't smiling. This made the anxiety that Yuki was feeling much worse. He had seen Tohma smiling while he was destroying someone's career and while he was threatening people, so for him to lose that smile now Yuki knew that there wasn't going to be any good news.

"Tohma, how is he? Can I see him?" Yuki demanded as soon as he got close enough that he wouldn't have to yell.

"Nice to see you to, Eiri," Tohma said as he watched the changing expressions go across Yuki's face.

"Damn it, Tohma, I don't have time for your crap, either you tell me or I will hunt down the doctor and make him tell me," Yuki snarled as he grabbed the front of Tohma's suit.

Tohma frowned as he reached up and calmly removed Yuki's hands from his shirt. "Eiri, you need to calm down, getting angry will solve nothing," Tohma said in a placating voice, "If you will come with me I will explain everything."

Yuki backed off and let Tohma led him into the waiting room, when they got inside they where hit with a blast of hot air. Yuki shivered and pulled his coat closer to his body. He had not realized how cold he had been until he walked into the building. As they walked through the lobby Yuki kept waiting for Tohma to tell him what was going on, but they continued to walk in silence. Just as Yuki was about to start demanding answers they reached a private conference room. Tohma walked in and motioned for Yuki to sit down. Yuki looked around the room as he walked in. From what he could see it was just like any other conference room he had ever been in, but as he looked more closely at the walls he noticed what looked like a lighted table only smaller and hung on the wall. The table had about thirteen seats and a small plant in the center.

"The doctor will meet us in here to explain the full extent of Shuichi's injuries," Tohma explained after they both had sat down.

"Why don't you tell me what you know and I will let the doctor fill me in on anything you leave out," Yuki replied frowning at Tohma.

Tohma sighed and rested his elbows on the table with his hands folded beneath his chin, "Fine, I will try to tell you what I know."

"As I told you before, the bus driver had been trying to make it through the blizzard to their next destination, but what that destination was I don't know. All I was able to get from K was that they had an emergency and had to risk driving in the storm."

"Wait, are you saying that some thing happened that was bad enough for them to risk all of their lives driving in a blizzard?" Yuki interrupted.

Tohma sighed clearly trying to keep his patience, "Well, like I told you I wasn't able to get much information from K, but I do know that the doctor will have some answers for us. Now do you want me to finish telling you about the accident or not?" Tohma asked.

"Fine," Yuki said looking irritated

"Ok, like I was saying apparently they hit a patch of ice and lost control. Well, from what I have been told, the bus rolled several times before it came to rest on a tree. Because nobody had been wearing a seat belt except the driver, every one was thrown around pretty hard. Shuichi it seems was hit the hardest, he had been sitting closer to the window and was knocked out from a blow to the head. Also he broke Hiro's fall and several others. From what the doctor was able to tell me from her initial observation, Shuichi suffered from a blow to the head and several broken bones, but she will give us a more detailed description when she is done."

Yuki sat in silence for a few moments absorbing what he had been told. "So even if everything heals properly, there is still a chance of brain damage?" Yuki asked looking down at his hands.

"Why do you ask that?"

"Well, you said that Shuichi suffered a blow to the head."

"Like I said before, the doctor will be able to tell us everything we want to know when she gets done. Meanwhile, I am going to check on the rest of the band to see how everyone is doing," Tohma informed Yuki as he stood up from his chair, but before he could walk out the door the doctor appeared.

"Gentlemen, sorry to have kept you waiting but the damage was a little more extensive than I first thought," the doctor said as she walked into the room. She had been looking through Shuichi's medical files, but when there was nothing but silence in answer she glanced up. What she saw was a ruffled looking man glaring at the well dressed gentleman that had grilled her about her patient's status.

"Excuse, which one of you is responsible for Mr. Shindou's consent forms?" she asked when neither one of them looked at her.

Yuki looked up at the sound of a female voice to see a woman of about thirty waiting just inside the doorway. Yuki stood up and waited for her to walk into the room.

"I'm sorry what was your question?" Yuki asked looking at her.

The woman gave them a patient smile as she repeated herself, "I asked which one of you is responsible for Mr. Shindou's consent to surgery forms?"

Yuki frowned in confusion, "My brother-in-law told me that you had been in surgery with Shuichi already." Yuki replied as he looked at Tohma in question.

"That's right, but he was conscious long enough to give me permission to do surgery on his broken arm, not the other injuries," the doctor explained.

Yuki thought for a minute, but he could not ever remember signing any papers that gave him and Shuichi power over each others medical procedures.

"I'm afraid that you will have to contact Shuichi's parents," Yuki said as he looked down at his hands.

The doctor's eyebrows rose in surprise, "But I thought one of you was Mr. Shindou's lover?" she asked puzzlement clear in her voice.

Yuki nodded his head, "Yes, I'm his lover, but something like this has never come up before."

The doctor swallowed the questions that were fighting to be asked. From what she had read they had been lovers for many years, so it was highly usual for them to not have power of attorney over each other's property.

"Well, I'm afraid that you will have to wait for Mr. Shindou's parents get here before I can tell you anything else," she replied.

Yuki looked at her in shock, "But I'm his lover I need to know what's going on," Yuki protested just about to reach the end of his patience.

"I'm sorry, but I am not allowed to disclose any medical information to anyone but the patient's family."

Yuki growled in frustrated anger, before he stood up and walked out the door. He needed a cigarette and some time to cool off, before he did something he would regret later.

Meanwhile Tohma was trying to get more information out of the doctor about Shuichi and the other members of the band. While Yuki had not been able to get information out of her, Tohma had ways of getting what he wanted.

After Yuki had gone outside to smoke and to clam down, he walked back into the hospital in search of Tohma. He knew that even if the doctor would tell him nothing about Shuichi, Tohma would get the information from her. When he got back to the conference room he saw that the doctor was gone and Tohma was sitting in the same place where he had left him.

"So, did you get any more information from that woman?" Yuki asked as he walked over to join him.

Tohma gave him an innocent smile, "What makes you think that she told any more than she told you?"

"Because I know you and you wouldn't let anything stand in your way of getting the information you wanted," Yuki replied as he glared at Tohma.

"Very well, yes, I got more information out of her, but I think you had best sit down before I tell you."

"God dang, will you just tell me I am getting tired of being jerked around by you and everybody else, just tell me or I will find that doctor and beat it out of her," Yuki snapped sounding very closing to losing his temper.

Tohma gave him a reproachable look before he sighed and told Yuki everything.

"It seems that the information I had gotten before was misleading. Instead of them chancing driving in the storm to get to some unknown destination they were trying to get to a hospital. It seems that during the last part of the concert Shuichi was shot by some unknown person."

Yuki looked at him in shock, "But why would anybody want to shot Shuichi?" Yuki interrupted.

"If you will hold on I'm getting to that. Until K wakes up there is not much more I can tell you about it, but it seems to be a hate crime."

"Why do you say that?" Yuki asked.

"Because only Shuichi was targeted and there was note found were the shots came from. I can't tell you what was in the note because it is part of an ongoing investigation, but I can tell you it gave more than enough reason to indicate a hate crime."

During the last part of Tohma's words Yuki had dropped his head onto the table. He could not understand why anybody would want to hurt Shuichi, yeah he himself had come close but that was different. After all everybody had their disagreements, but he had never physically hurt Shuichi.


	3. Chapter 3

a/n: again i went throught this chapter and fixed some mistakes.

By the time Shuichi's parents arrived at the hospital Yuki was ready to commit mass murder. Shuichi's doctor refused to let him in to see his lover and the nurse on duty was looking at him like a starving man at a buffet. At first Shuichi's parents ignored him in favor of finding out all that they could about their son, but finally Shuichi's mom seemed to notice that he was standing right behind them.

"Mrs. Shindo, I am sorry to meet you again under these circumstances," Yuki said with a small bow in her direction.

Mrs. Shindo gave a small bow back before she spoke. "Mr. Yuki, I'm sorry that you were not able to go in and see my son, but the doctor told me the reason for this," she said her voice shaking with unshed tears, but under that there was a trace of disapproval.

Yuki fought to keep his own tears in, in the face off his lover's mother's pain. He had had awhile to think over all the mistakes that he had made over the course of his and Shuichi's relationship. He regretted much of what he had done, but now it was to little to late. Shuichi was laying in a coma and he could not even go in to see him if Shuichi's parents said that he couldn't.

"I'm afraid that I have made many mistakes in my dealings with your son, but if he pulls through this, then I assure you I will do everything I can to make it up to him," Yuki said as he turned to where the doctor was coming up the hallway.

By the time the doctor reached them, Yuki had managed to regain his some of his composure. As he listened yet again to the list of Shuichi's injures, he realized that it would take a miracle for Shuichi to survive. On top of the near fatal gunshot wound, there was the matter of the injures sustained during the crash.

"Mr. Yuki."

Yuki jumped as he heard a soft voice saying his name, he looked up to find four pairs of eyes on him.

"I'm sorry what did you say?" he asked when he realized that he had been asked a question by Shuichi's mother.

"I asked if you would like to be the first one to go in to see Shuichi. Doctor Fumie said that only one person at a time is allowed to go in to see him."

Yuki looked at her in confusion until it hit him that Fumie was the name of Shuichi's doctor. He had been so busy beating himself up and worrying about Shuichi that he had uncharacteristically forgotten to get her name and anything else he could get about the rest of the people taking care Shuichi.

"Thank you, but you are his family you should go and see him first," Yuki said turning to leave the waiting room. After all the waiting and wondering, now that he was faced with seeing Shuichi laying broken in a hospital bed it was just to much to bear.

Shuichi's father looked liked he couldn't have agreed more, but Shuichi's mom elbowed her husband in the side before turning back to face Yuki.

"Nonsense, you are his family just as much as we are. I think that you should be the first one to visit him. After all you have been waiting a lot longer than we have."

"Thank you," Yuki replied giving her a short bow before turning back to face the doctor.

"Dr. Fumie, if you would so kind as to show me where Shuichi is?" Yuki asked when he saw the uncertain looked on her face.

Dr. Fumie nodded her head and motioned for Yuki to follow her, but before they could start on their way they saw Tohma coming toward them.

"There you are, Eiri, I was just coming to find you. It seems that K has woken up and he has more information for us," Tohma said as walked toward them.

Yuki frowned in indecision, on one hand he wanted to see Shuichi, on the other he wanted to find out why Shuichi had been attacked. Again Shuichi's mom took the decision away from him.

"Why don't you go and see my son then go and get your answers. After all that person will probably be there for awhile, Shuichi on the other hand could be gone in a matter of hours," Shuichi's mom explained, chocking back tears at the thought of her baby dying.

Tohma frowned at the total disregard for K's health, but he decided not to say any thing she was clearly distraught and could not be held accountable for anything she said.

"Very well," Yuki said, "I will go ahead and see Shuichi and then you can take me to see K," Yuki told Tohma as he motioned for Tohma to led the way.

Dr. Fumie stopped Yuki though, "You are only allowed to say for a few minutes and don't be surprised if he doesn't respond to you. He is in a coma and will be for quite some time," she cautioned.

Yuki nodded in understanding, before again starting on his way. Yuki and Tohma were in the elevator and heading up to the correct floor, when Yuki asked a question that had been bugging since he thought had about it while waiting for Shuichi's parents to arrive.

"How long did you wait before you decided to call and tell me that Shuichi was in the hospital?" Yuki asked.

Tohma did not look at him, but instead gave the floor all of his attention. "Well, I didn't want you to have to wait up here for longer than you had to, so when they took Shuichi into surgery I called you," Tohma said refusing to look at Yuki.

"Damn it, Tohma you knew that I was worrying anyways. How does waiting a few minutes or even hours going to stop me from worrying?" Yuki asked.

"I won't apologize for worrying about you, but I will say that I'm sorry that this has happened to Shuichi. The reason I waited is because I did not want to have to tell you that the person that you have finally opened yourself to, is in a coma and not excepted to live," Tohma explained finally looking at Yuki.

Yuki sighed, "So as always you were thinking of yourself?"

Tohma gave a soft laugh, "Basically," he said.

Yuki just glared at him, but he didn't feel like talking about it anymore so he let the subject drop.

When Yuki heard the ding of the elevator he looked up at the number on the door and felt a cold chill sweep go over him when he saw what floor they were going to get off at.

Tohma looked over at Yuki when he felt him tense, he frowned in confusion then he about smacked himself for not warning Yuki about where they were going. He reached over to lay his hand on Yuki's shoulder. "Are you alright?" Tohma asked when he felt the trembling under his hand.

Yuki shook his head and pulled away from Tohma, "I'm fine," came the rather brusque reply. The floor that they were headed for was one that he was all to familiar with, it was the floor that they reserved for their most critical patients. He remembered all to clearly all the time that he spent with his mother waiting for her to die. She was diagnosed with cancer just before her health took a turn for the worst. Of course Shuichi would be on the same floor because it looked like he was about to lose another loved one to something that was not in his control.

When the doors opened, Yuki was hit with the smell of strong antiseptic and bleach. At least some things never changed, Yuki thought to himself as Tohma led him down the hall. All to soon they stopped at the door to Shuichi's room.

"Do you need me to go in with you?" Tohma asked disregarding the rule of only one visitor per patient.

Yuki shook his head, the lump in his throat making it hard to talk, "No, I need to do this on my own," Yuki said as he pushed the door to Shuichi's room open.

Yuki swallowed a gasp of surprise as he got his first look of Shuichi in the hospital bed. Tohma had explained some of what had happened to Shuichi, but the reality was more than he had imagined. His lover lay surrounded by tubes and bandages and while he normally looked small, laying in that hospital bed he looked like a small child, so innocent and fragile. He was also laying too motionless for Yuki's comfort after sharing a bed for so many years, Yuki knew that even asleep Shuichi was never still or quite. As Yuki walked slowly across the room he knew that even if he were to touch Shuichi's hand there would be no response. But despite the doctor's warning Yuki picked up Shuichi's hand, some small part of him still holding on to the hope that Shuichi would open his eyes and tell Yuki that he was alright. Shuichi's hand felt warm but there was no live in it, it just hung still and silent in his own.

Yuki sank into the chair by the bed not taking his eyes off Shuichi's face and keeping hold of Shuichi's hand some small part of him needing some form of contact with his lover.

"Hey, Shuichi, I know you can't hear me, but I want to tell you that I'm sorry for everything and that I need you to wake up," Yuki said ignoring the tears that finally slipped past his control. Only silence greeted his words, and the silence was even more heart breaking than the stillness. In all the years that Yuki had known Shuichi it was only when something was seriously wrong that he was silent. Yuki sat there for what seemed like an eternity hoping for some sign of movement, but Shuichi was as still as he had been when Yuki had walked into the room.

Finally there was knock on the door and Shuichi's doctor stuck her head around it.

"I'm sorry Mr. Yuki, but your time is up," she quietly said as she walked further into the room. She walked over to her patient giving Yuki the privacy to clean his face.

"Is there any change?" Yuki asked as he watched her check Shuichi's vitals and responses.

"No, I'm afraid that he has shown no signs of improvement," she said as she put his chart back.

Yuki sighed and took one last look at his lover, before he turned to leave the room. When he got outside he found Tohma leaning against the wall inspecting his fingernails.

"Are you done?" he asked as he straightened up.

Yuki nodded, "Yes, the doctor kicked me out. Now let's go talk to K, I want to know what has been going on."

"Ok, but we will have to go down a couple of floors," Tohma replied as he again led the way to the elevator.

Yuki looked at him, "Why is that?" he asked.

"Because K was the only other person wearing a seatbelt, besides the driver, so he was not as injured as the rest of the band."

That was all the information that Yuki wanted and they rode the elevator down in complete silence this time. When they got to K's hospital room they could hear yelling.

They looked at each other in confusion, before pushing the door open what they saw took both of them by surprise. K was standing on the bed and yelling at the T.V..

Tohma was the first one to walk into the room, "What in the world are you doing," he demanded.

K jerked around to face them and almost tumbled off of the bed. "Tohma, give a guy some warning next time," K exclaimed as he climbed off of the bed, giving Tohma and Yuki an unwanted view of his butt. When he saw the looks on their faces he nearly busted a gut laughing at them.

"Sorry, about that but the gowns were not designed for privacy," K said as he pulled the gown closed as best as he could with one arm in a cast.

Yuki looked at Tohma with disgust on his face, "You were right when you said that he didn't suffer as many injures as the rest of the band, but that was not the proof I needed."

Tohma just gave him a placating smile before he started grilling K.

"What was the information that you said you had?" he asked as he walked across the room.

K painfully pulled himself up to sit on the bed. The pain from his various injures was catching up to him as the pain killers wore off.

"It seems that my men have managed to track down the person that shot Shuichi."

"Already?" Yuki asked in surprise as he joined Tohma near K's bed.

K gave a feral smirk, "My men can work quite fast when the need arises," he said reaching out to turn off the T.V.

Even Tohma looked impressed with the speed of K's men, and to impress Tohma was quite a feat.

"So in under twenty four hours your men managed to track down a shooter, with the only piece of evidence being a letter written by the shooter himself?" Tohma asked.

K nodded. "Yes, and it seems that it wasn't a hate crime pre se but an attack of jealously."

"Jealously? Someone tried to kill Shuichi just because they were jealous?" Yuki asked looking shocked and not just a little bit angry.

"It seems that even though Shuichi publicly admitted to being gay, he was accepted because of his fame. This young man it seems came out to his family and friends and was ridiculed and abused because of it. So here you have almost the same circumstances, except Shuichi was accepted and the other guy was rejected."

"So you are saying that because he was punished for being gay, Shuichi had to pay the price?" Yuki asked through clenched teeth.

"I'm afraid that's exactly what it seems like," K replied watching Yuki like one would watch a rabid dog.

Tohma put a calming hand on Yuki's arm, "Don't, Eiri, he won't get away with this, I will make sure he gets exactly what is coming to him," Tohma said.

"Umm, before you go making death plans you might want to hear this. It seems that he felt bad about what he did so he went home and killed himself," K informed them.

"Well, at least now we know what you were yelling about," Tohma said with a small smile, a calculating look on his face.

Yuki looked at him, he recognized that look Tohma had gotten many times when he set out to avenge some wrong done to Yuki. "Alright, Tohma, what are you planning?" Yuki asked.

"I will tell you when I have all the plans figured out."


	4. Chapter 4

a/n: again i apoglize for how long this has taken me to get written. I want to thank everyone that has reviewed this story, and for those of you that are still reading this I do have most of the next chapter written so hopefully it will be up by next week sometime. I no longer have a beta reader so this has only been looked over by me if you see any mistakes please let me know. I have gone back over the preivous chapters and fixed a few really bad mistakes, so hopefully it is easier to read.

Tohma bid K goodbye before he pulled his phone out of his pocket to start making his plans. Although he could not punish the one that did the crime he could punish the ones that were at the start of it.

Yuki stood outside of K's door trying to decide where he should go, he could not go see Shuichi again because his family was with him, and he did not want to go home because that would give him too much time to think. So he did the next best thing and walked up to the roof.

As he stood smoking he found himself doing the very thing that he wanted to avoid. He started thinking about all the things that he could have done differently and all the times that he could have told Shuichi that he loved him, but even now with Shuichi laying in a hospital bed dying he could not bring himself to say those words to him. So as the minutes passed Yuki watched all of the people that came and went and he thought about how he came to this point in his life. Sometimes it seems that although he tried to hold on to someone they always seem to slip away from him, his mom had left him when he was small, leaving his sister the responsibility of raising her younger brothers. Then he got shipped to America by her boyfriend in hopes of finding a place for him to belong, but because of his looks he attracted the wrong sort of attention, thus leaving him with even more emotional scarring. Just when he thought he had his life back on track Shuichi had come barreling through like a runaway train, and in the years that followed Yuki still did not know what to make of him. He had been put through most of the same things as Yuki, on top on the pain of loving someone who refused to acknowledge that love, and instead he was constantly put down and insulted. The one thing that Shuichi had that Yuki was incapable of though, was the ability to bounce back from any situation and come out stronger because of it.

Yuki shook himself from his thoughts when he felt the burn of the cigarette ashes falling onto his fingers. He shook the ash off and put the cigarette out, he was just to distracted to smoke, usually smoking gave Yuki a small measure of comfort, but right now he knew the only thing that could comfort him was for Shuichi to wake up. Yuki turned at the sound of a door opening to see Tohma stepping through.

"Did you get all of your calls made that you needed to make?" Yuki asked as he turned back around to look at the street.

Tohma smiled as he walked over to join Yuki. "Yeah, I got some things worked out," Tohma replied as he tried to see what Yuki was staring so hard at. As he looked out over the street he saw couples coming and going, some fighting and some that couldn't seem to keep their hands off of each other.

"Are you thinking of Shuichi?" Tohma asked as he turned to face Yuki.

Yuki kept his face turned away from Tohma as he nodded. Tohma was just to good at reading his expressions. He was still trying to work out what he was feeling, he didn't need some one offering their advice for how he should deal with it.

Tohma felt a familiar pang in he chest at Yuki's nod, although his was married to Mika there would always be a part of him that wants to be with Yuki, but he knew that the only way he could be close to him was to keep his distance and to help out where ever he could.

Tohma put his hand on Yuki's shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze, "I know you don't want to hear this, but even if Shuichi doesn't make it there are still people that will be here for you."

Yuki gave a humorless smile as he finally faced Tohma, "But you know very well that family can not take the place of a lover. All these years I have been trying to tell myself that I didn't need anyone and that I could come and go as I please. For years I have cheated on Shuichi and kicked him out when he did some thing that I didn't like, but it took him laying in a hospital bed for me to realize how much he much he buried himself in my heart," Yuki finished with a small sob as the memory of Shuichi laying in that hospital bed came back to him.

Tohma stood for a minute in indecision before he reached out for Yuki and to his surprise Yuki accepted the comfort that he was being offered. As Tohma stood there and held Yuki it came back to him that the last time he had had to comfort Yuki was in an apartment building in New York after some one he loved had betrayed him and he was comforting him for almost the same reason. Now he knew that the type of betrayal was different, but it seemed that both of the men that Yuki loved was going to leave him by dying. Tohma vowed in that moment to do all that was in his power to hurt the ones that had hurt Yuki.

After a few minutes Yuki pulled away in embarrassment, he had not wanted Tohma to see how much this was affecting him, but out of the people that he knew it always seemed to be Tohma that was there when he needed someone to lean on.

After Yuki dried his eyes and calmed down a little bit he turned to look at Tohma, "Let's go," he said as he turned to walk toward the door.

"Where are we going?" Tohma asked as he hurried to catch up with Yuki.

"I'm going to go see if I can see Shuichi again and then I going to go get some thing to eat," Yuki replied as he opened the door and stepped through.

Tohma pulled the door closed behind him, and followed Yuki down the stairs, "Okay, then I will go see what they have available in the cafeteria," Tohma said as he turned to go the opposite direction as Yuki.

Yuki stopped in surprise, "You mean you are going to eat here?" he asked in a slightly surprised voice.

Tohma gave a small laugh, "Both of us need to eat and I know that I won't be able to get you to leave to get a decent meal so I figured I would just eat here with you."

"Fine, do whatever you would like I will meet you there in about thirty minutes if I can get in to see Shuichi again."

"Okay, I will tell you what I have planned when you get there," Tohma said as he continued down the hallway.

Yuki watched him walk down the hallway before he shook his head. He knew that whatever Tohma had to tell him was not going to be pleasant for someone. Yuki walked over to the elevators and pushed the button. As he was waiting for the car to arrive an older married couple joined him. While they waited the couple started talking about the person that they were apparently going to visit. It seemed that some distance relative was dying and wanted all of their family to be there so they could meet them before they died. As first Yuki could not understand why someone would do this, but as they continued to talked and they got into the elevator he found out that this person had lived a hard live and wanted to die with no regrets so they were gathering all of the family together to apologize for wrongs that they had done to the family. Yuki got to thinking about Shuichi again and he wondered if Shuichi had any regrets with his life.

The elevator stopped and Yuki walked off deep in thought, he wanted so bad to be able to talk to Shuichi one more time, but that all depended on if Shuichi made it or not. As he got closer to Shuichi's room he noticed that he was starting to get an uneasy feeling, like he knew that something was about to happen. He stopped in front of the door and wiped his hands on his pants before opening the door, at first if seemed like there was no one in the room but as his eyes adjusted to the dim light he saw someone sitting by the bed. He walked farther into the room and he saw that the person was Shuichi's mother. She glanced up from where she had been watching Shuichi sleep and gave him a sad smile.

"Hello," she said in a quite voice as she stood up to offer him the chair, but Yuki shook his head and motioned for her to sit back down.

"Hello," he replied as he walked closer to Shuichi bedside, "How is he doing?" Yuki asked.

Shuichi's mom shook her head as she glanced back down at her son, "The same as he was an hour ago, the doctor said that if he doesn't show signs of improvement by tonight that there is not much chance of him ever waking up again."

Yuki frowned as he reached out to lightly touch Shuichi's hand, "Did she say how much of a chance he has?" Yuki asked.

Again she shook her head, "No, she just said that due to the extent of his injures and the severity of the gunshot wound there is not much of a chance."

Yuki swallowed the lump in his throat as he processed this, now more than ever he saw that there was not much of a chance for him to tell Shuichi what he so desperately wanted to tell him.

"Well, will you let me know immediately if he waked up?" Yuki asked as he looked at her.

"Sure, I will have some one come get you. Where are you going to be?" she asked.

"I'm going to be in the cafeteria," Yuki replied, "it has been awhile since I have eaten anything and there are some things that I need to take care of."

Shuichi's mom got an odd expression on her face but it was gone before he could read what it was. "Very well," was all she said as she turned her attention back to her son.

Yuki frowned as he tried to figured out what he said to upset her, but she wouldn't look at him again and his stomach picked that time to let him know that it had been too long since his last meal. Yuki turned and walked back out the door, the whole time he fought the urge to go and take Shuichi's mom's place. He knew that even with him sitting there that it would not make much of a difference on whether Shuichi lived or not, but it would give him the reassurance of watching Shuichi knowing that even though it was machines doing most the work for him at least he was still alive.

When Yuki got to the cafeteria he was able to find Tohma fairly quickly, as he walked across the floor some women in a bright pink dress started heading his way.

"Hi, I'm with Sunrise News could you tell what the condition of Shindo Shuichi is?" she asked as she held a pencil over a note pad.

Yuki glared at her causing her to take a step back, "I can't tell you anything, if you have an questions call Shuichi's manager he is the one that handles all of the information."

But she didn't take the hint, "But you are his lover are you not?" she asked as she again stepped close to him.

Yuki glared at her again, "You know I am," he replied, "but I don't see how that relates to you asking me questions about him."

"Well, I thought that since you two are living together you would know that most about what is going with him."

"Look, you are in a hospital show some decency and go report on a traffic jam or something, not badger people who are waiting for their loved ones to die," Yuki snapped as he turned his back on her and started walking to where he show Tohma getting up from a table. Behind him heard the woman huff, but he did not turn around to see if she was still there. When he reached Tohma he heard footsteps behind him, but before he could turn to face the persistent reporter Tohma stepped around him.

Tohma blocked her path to Yuki before he put his best intimidating look on his face.

"Do you not know that when some one walks away from that you should take the hint and go away?" Tohma asked in a soft voice.

The reporter stood her ground as she replied, "I know when someone is being stubborn, all I asked was one simple question."

"Well, the way I see it is not any of your business how Shuichi is doing, there will be a press conference tomorrow, you can wait like everyone else to get the answer to your question," Tohma told her motioning for her to leave.

"Well, all of Shuichi's fans want to know if he is going to live or not and they don't want to wait until tomorrow to find out," she persisted.

Tohma narrowed his eyes in a glare and he felt his temper raising, "Look, you have five minutes to get out of here, or I will make it where you will never be able to work in this country again."

Finally the woman got a scared look on her face, "You wouldn't dare," she said in a frighten voice, her boss required her to get a story at any cost, but he wasn't the one that was about to be screwed.

Tohma smiled a slow evil smile, "Oh, believe me when I say I'm going to do something know that I always follow through."


	5. Chapter 5

A/n: As usual this took a little longer than I planned to get out, but I finally got it written. I want to say thank you the people that reviewed and for those of you that don't want Shuichi to die, I hate to disappoint you but I had already planned for him to die even before I started writing this story. And I think there should only be a few more chapters before we get to that point. Again if you see any mistakes please let me know. I have looked this over but I have a tendencies of missing things.

Yuki looked after her for a few seconds before he turned to look at Tohma, "Remind me to never make you mad," he said as he pulled out a chair to sit down.

Tohma gave Yuki a gentle smile, "You have nothing to worry about Yuki, I doubt there is anything that you can do to me to make me mad at you."

Yuki gave him and uncomfortable smile as he shifted uneasily in his chair, sometimes he forgot how Tohma felt about him. "Well, anyways wasn't there something that you need to tell me?" Yuki asked as he tried to break the uncomfortable silence.

Tohma withheld a sigh as he took the hint and sat down.

"First I wanted to talk to you about what I found out about the man that shot Shuichi," Tohma said as he picked up his coffee that he had sitting on the table.

Yuki looked at him as he waited for him to continue, but Tohma it seemed was prepared to make him wait even longer. Finally Tohma sighed and put his drink down.

"It seems that the young man had been going through a messy divorce and had come out to his family about his attraction to other men. Well, at about that time you and Shuichi came out to the entire country of Japan and possibly the world, and although the reaction was mixed about your relationship generally you were accepted. This man on the other hand had to deal with ridicule and abandonment by his family and friends, so from what I have been able together he wanted to take a beloved person away from everyone. Since the timing of Shuichi's coming out and his coincided, I guess he decided that Shuichi would be a perfect target," Tohma finished speaking as he watch Yuki for his reaction to his story.

Yuki fought the urge to get up and find some one to take his angry out on, it seemed that just because some guy did not get the reaction that he wanted from his family and was rejected instead, Shuichi had to pay the price. Yuki was not going to disillusion himself, he knew that it was only because he and Shuichi were famous that they got the acceptance that they had gotten. What that person had not known though was the number of hate mail and phone calls that he and Shuichi both had gotten from people that hate all that they stood for. They gave people that were gay the hope that they too would be accepted and that what they were was not something weird. Now Yuki knew that everyone had their opinion and that just because one person believed one thing that did not mean that another person would believe the same thing. After a minute or two of thinking Yuki looked back up at Tohma.

"What have you done to ratify the situation?" Yuki asked as he fiddled with the shaker that was on the table. He really needed a cigarette but he knew that he could not even think about lighting one in a hospital.

Tohma gave him an innocent smile, "Whatever do you mean, Yuki, you know that there is nothing I can do the guy killed himself, and even I can not bring back the dead."

Yuki fought back a growl, "Damn it, Tohma will you stop fooling around and tell me something I'm sick of messing with this, and I want to get back to see how Shuichi is doing."

"Fine," Tohma said as he leaned forward in his chair and folded his hands on top of the table. "So far all I have been able to do is to freeze some of the accounts of the dead man's family and leak the story to the press."

Yuki frowned as he leaned back to give Tohma a cross look, "How is that going to affect anything?" he asked.

"Well, I forgot to tell you that the man's family was also rich, but I guess that could explain why they disowned him."

"So, you are telling me that since you can't do anything to the guy that shot Shuichi, then you went after his family?" Yuki asked.

Tohma gave a serene smile, "Of course, after all if they had treated him better he might not have gone off the deep end like he did," Tohma explained like it was a perfectly reasonable concept.

Yuki looked at him like one would look at someone with an obvious mental problem. "Okay, so how long will it be before you find out if your plan worked?" Yuki asked.

Tohma looked thoughtful for a minute before he answered, "I think it should be sometime today or tomorrow," he replied.

Yuki nodded, "Okay, now that that is out of the way let's get something to eat," Yuki said as he pushed himself back from the table and stood up. Tohma nodded in agreement as he too stood up.

Later after they had finished eating and had thrown away their trash they walked over to the gift shop to look around. When they walked in they saw the same reporter that had hassled them in the cafeteria. They walked up behind her to see what she was talking about to the harried looking man in front of her.

"Oh, come on, will you just relax all I asked you to do was to pass yourself off as a doctor so that you can get some information on Mr. Shindo," she exclaimed sounding exasperated with the man.

The slightly chubby man sputtered, "Well, it is easy for you to get upset, because you are not the one that has to get past the kid's insane lover," he snapped as he started wringing his hands and looking nervously around him, when his gaze landed on Tohma and Yuki his face lost all color. Yuki gave him a feral grin as he started walking toward the pair. It seems that the woman was as stupid as Yuki first took her for.

The guy started backing away as he watched Yuki approach them.

"Takai, what is your problem now?" she asked as she watched him backing away. Instead of answering he pointed a trembling finger behind her. She turned to look behind her and when she saw Yuki stalking toward her, she felt all the blood drain out of her face. All she could think was that she was glad that her family was out of the country on business because she knew that her father would be very upset to see her thrown out of the country. She had not forgotten what the men had said to her, but her fear of failure and her boss where greater than her fear of them. Some how her boss had found out that she had been having an affair with a very important political figure and to make matters worse he was married to a woman that had him on a very tight financial leash, so she had to do any thing and everything she was told to do or they would be exposed to his family. Her lover had already told her that if she were to mess up his future he would do things to her that she would not want to even imagine. As she stood there and thought about what all had led her to this point in time, she started to realize that she had very poor taste in men and even worse judgment when it came to making people mad at her. She wondered why she just couldn't make some poor homeless person mad at her, instead of men that had more money than she would ever see in her lifetime.

Yuki lost the angry look on his face as he stood there and watched the woman space out, here he was about to beat some sense in to her, and all she appeared to worry about was the thoughts going through her head. He reached out and grabbed her by the arm, "Hey, are you stupid or something, what part of career failure do you not understand?" he asked as he gave her shoulder a shake.

That seemed to snap her out of whatever thoughts she had been having, "Do what you want to me, there is nothing that you can that can be worse than what will happen to me if I don't get this story," she informed him as she straighten up to try and even out the height difference between them.

Yuki frowned at that statement, then he glanced behind him to Tohma to see what he wanted to do with her. Tohma appeared to think for a minute before he motioned for Yuki to follow him. Yuki kept hold of the woman's arm as he motioned for her companion to follow them also. As they followed Tohma, Yuki wondered how Shuichi being shot could have led to all of the complications. First he started to question every thing about their years together and how he felt about his lover. Then he found out that the person that had shot Shuichi, did it because of a jealous rage, and then he found out that once again Tohma had gone into over protective mode and had set out to ruin someone's life. Now this had come up, and as much as he wanted to be there for Shuichi, he was thinking that he should have just stayed in bed that morning. As cold hearted as it sounded, Shuichi was in a coma and didn't even know that he was there, so one day wouldn't have really mattered, but as he thought this he could have hit himself. This same cold-hearted attitude was the very reason that he had lost Shuichi, it was not his fault that Yuki seemed to have a black cloud that followed him around. He saw Tohma stop a doctor and from the look of things he appeared to be asking directions, at first the doctor shook his head, but Tohma said something else and the man got an angry look on his face before he sighed and pointed down the hallway. Tohma nodded and continued down the hallway, Yuki followed all the while wondering what Tohma had said to the doctor. It seemed that Tohma was in a weird mood today, usually he only threatened people once a week. As they got closer to their destination Yuki saw that it was an office. When they got to the door Tohma stopped and motioned for the two people to precede them into the room. Neither of them looked to happy about going into a room that was as private as this one. Yuki smiled as he thought about what they must be thinking.

"Don't worry all I want to do is talk," Tohma told them as he stepped into the room, after Yuki walked in behind him Tohma closed the door and leaned back against it. When they saw this both of them looked at each other and backed farther into the room.

The woman was apparently the braver of the two because she spoke up first, "About what?" she asked as she visibly swallowed her fear.

"How about you start at the beginning and tell us why you need this story so bad?" Tohma replied as he watched her.

The reporter frown, she did not know what to do now this day had just gone from bad to worse. If she told him what he wanted to know, that would expose everything, and she wasn't ready to have of the gory details dragged out into the light of day just so this man could pick her life apart.

Finally she looked back up at him, "I don't have to tell you anything," she said as she crossed her arms over her chest and took up a defensive stance.

Tohma looked at her for a minute before he straightened up from the door, "Oh, and why do you think you have a choice in the matter?" he asked as he slowly walked toward her.

She struggled to hold her ground, but as he got closer she felt her resolve crumble, "Please, I will tell you anything you want to know, just let Takai go," she pleaded as she stepped in front of him.

"If he is not involved in this little plot of yours then I might consider it, but right now I want some answers," Tohma said as he stopped within a few feet of them.

Tohma thought for a moment as he tried to think of some questions to ask to get her to loosen her tongue, 'Well,' he thought to himself, 'since asking her what she was doing here didn't get a response,' he would start off by finding out her name. With that at least he could find out everything he needed to about her without her having to say word.

"Okay, how about we start out with an easy question then." Tohma said.

She look at him with suspicion before she replied, "And what is this easy question?"

"Tell me what your name is, I hate trying to talk to a person with no name."

"My name is Haruko Chika," she replied still looking at him with distrust in her eyes.

"Hmm, Chika sounds like a very nice name," Tohma said smiling at her.

The reporter didn't reply, so Tohma started circling the room looking at the medical pictures on the wall and the family picture on the desk. After a few minutes of silence, Chika and her champion were starting to get restless.

"Look, are you going to ask your questions or are you going to circle like a hawk all day?" she finally snapped as the silence grew to unbearable proportions.

Tohma gave her an innocent look, "I thought you didn't want to talk," he replied as he completed the circuit of the room and stopped in front of her again.

Chika felt like screaming, sometimes she really hated men, "Look, quit playing head games with me, and let's get this over with," she said.

"Very well," Tohma said, "Why don't you start by telling me why your are so insistent on seeing Shuichi?"

Chika looked at him before she looked down to the floor, "My editor wanted me to make sure that the rumors about Bad Luck's singer were true, and if they were for me to get all the information that I could on him so that we would be the first paper to get the story."

"Okay, I can understand that but why are you willing to risk your career on just one story when there will be many other stories of the same importance?" Tohma asked her.

"Because my editor is blackmailing me and he told me that if I don't do what he tells me too, he will print the story in the paper and ruin me," she said as she started playing with the edge of the chair.

Tohma frowned, "What does you boss have on you that makes you willing to break the law to get one story?"

Chika gave him an upset look before she looked over at the man sitting beside her then she looked back at Tohma, "My boss found out that I having be having an affair with a very important political person, and the person just so happens to be the father of the man that shot Shuichi."

Both Tohma and Yuki looked at her in shocked, before looking at each other.

"Are you telling Genji Masu is the man that you have been sleeping with?" Tohma asked giving her a suspicious look.

It was the reporters turn to looked shocked when Tohma asked his question. "How do you know that?" she asked with surprise in her voice.

"I'm not telling you how I found out, just that I do know who shot Shuichi and that I have already taken steps to avenge him," Tohma replied.

Finally Yuki spoke up after listening to all that had been said, "Okay, let me get this straight. You are sleeping with Genji Masu and you boss found and decided to blackmail you. And then Masu's son decides that he is jealous of Shuichi's fame and acceptance and takes his anger out on him." Yuki looked at her for conformation after his finished summarizing the events that had been discussed so far. Chika gave an uncertain nod, as she wondered where he was going with this.

"Okay now that I understand that, I have a question of my own. What does your boss expect to gain from blackmailing you and your lover?" Yuki asked her.

"Well I never said that he was blackmailing the both of us just me, and I don't know what he is wanting from me. Only that so far all he has asked of me was to get this story at all costs."

Tohma spoke up after she finished speaking, "I think that there is more going on here than we know about right now, and I think it is time that I go see this boss of yours myself."

"Does that mean that we can leave?" Chika asked as she moved to stand up.

Tohma nodded, "Yes, you can leave, but you had better go straight for the door because if I catch you trying to sneak up to Shuichi's floor I will follow through with my threat," Tohma warned as he opened the door to let them out.

After they left Yuki looked at Tohma, "What are you going to do now?" he asked as he watch the two walk down the hallway.

Tohma looked thoughtful for a minute before he answered, "I think right now I'm going to find out what is really going on."

"Okay, then I'm going back up to check on Shuichi and to give his mom a break for a while."

"Very well, I'll see you in a couple of hours then," Tohma said as he too walked out the door and started down the hallway.

Yuki walked out and started down the hallway going the opposite direction of Tohma.


	6. Chapter 6

A/n: Again sorry this has taken so long to get done. I think there will only be one more chapter after this one. If anyone sees any mistakes or other problems please let me know. I want to ty anyone that is still reading this despite the long periods between updates.

When Yuki got to Shuichi's hospital room he found Shuichi's mother asleep in the chair by his bed and his father standing watch over both of them by the window. He turned toward the door when Yuki walked in, but turned to look back out the window when he saw who it was.

"So, have you found out what happened to my son?" Mr. Shindo asked as he continued looking outside at the wet, dreary parking lot.

Yuki frowned at the lack of response he had been given, before he answered the older man's question. "It seems that Shuichi just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time," Yuki explained as he walk farther into the room to check on Shuichi.

Finally Shuichi's father turned away from the window and walked over to stand by his wife. "What is that supposed to mean?" he asked as he finally turned to look at Yuki.

Yuki frowned at the man as he thought of what to say to him about what happened to his son. He didn't to give the man more reason to be against their relationship, but he also didn't want to give the man more reason to hate him. Finally he figured that he would be better off telling him all that he knew and hope for the best.

"It means that Shuichi was just a convenient target," Yuki replied as he walked farther into the room to brush his hand along the top of Shuichi's cloth covered foot. As he felt the reassuring warmth coming from him, he felt better prepared to face any questions Shuichi's father might have for him about Shuichi's injuries.

Mr. Shindo started getting an angry look on his face at the causal way Yuki was talking about what had happened to his son.

"I think you need to explain that a little better for me because I have been in the dark about everything that has been going on. When we got here the doctor seemed to be in a rush to get to other patients and didn't explain anything to us."

"Very well, I will tell you all that I know if you can promise to at least hold your thoughts until I have finished," Yuki said as he looked up from his study of Shuichi's foot.

Shuichi's dad seem to think for a minute before he nodded, "Fine, tell me what you know, and I will try to hold my tongue until you finish."

"Why don't we take this to another room so that we don't disturb Shuichi and your wife," Yuki suggested as he motioned to the door.

Shuichi's dad nodded his consent as he moved to follow Yuki, when they got out to the hallway Yuki led him to a waiting room that was a little ways down the hall.

When they got settled Yuki started telling him about the shooting and the reason for it and all that Tohma was doing to resolve the issue. Even before Yuki got halfway through his tale Shuichi's dad looked like it was taking all of his control to keep his mouth shut. When Yuki finished his tale Mr. Shindo let go of the control he had over his tongue and let Yuki know just what he thought of the situation.

"The way I see it," he started, "if Shuichi had never gotten involved with you in the first place none of this would have ever happened and I might have had had a grandchild by now. Instead he had put up with your abuse and womanizing. All that he has gotten out of this relationship is heartache and probably some kind of sexually transmitted disease."

Yuki let him rant because he figured that the man had a reason for his anger toward him but when he got to the disease part he felt that he had a good reason to intervene.

"Now just a minute," Yuki interrupted, "you have every reason to feel the way you do toward me, but for your information I have never had a sexually transmitted disease and I would never willing give one to someone else. I know that I have not been a good companion to Shuichi and I have done my share of terrible things, but I do love him and I want the best for him."

Shuichi's dad glared at him as he finish his own rant. "The only reason that you are that is because Shuichi is laying in that hospital bed dying, if this have never happened you would still be living the same way that you have been living for the past few years."

"I will admit that you have a point and that yes we probably would be stuck in the same position, but this is here and now and that is in the past. I will swear right now that if Shuichi does make it through I will do my best to make it up to him."

Shuichi's father considered him for a minute before he gave a slight nod of his head, "Very well, I will give you one last chance to prove yourself to my son."

Yuki stood and gave the older man a low bow, "Thank you, sir, I will do my best to not disappoint you."

After they finished going over all of the questions that Shuichi's dad had about the shooting, they decided to head back to Shuichi's room and relieve his mother for a little while. When they got back to the room they found that Shuichi's mother had awaken and a nurse was checking Shuichi's vitals.

"Has there been any change?" Yuki asked as he walked through the door.

The nurse gave a solemn shake of her head, "I'm afraid not," she said as she finished writing down the information on Shuichi's chart. "He is still the same as he was when I last checked on him." The nurse excused herself as she put the chart back in its place and left the room. Yuki frowned in disappointment as he walked over to check on Shuichi himself. When he looked down at him, he was again struck with a sense of loss. Although he didn't want to admit it to himself he knew that time was against Shuichi on this matter. The doctor had explained to him that the longer Shuichi stayed in a coma the less chance he had of ever coming out of it.

Yuki looked at Mrs. Shindo, "If you and your husband would like to go get something to eat and to stretch your legs, I can stay and keep an eye on Shuichi." After a moment of indecision she agreed to go get some food and some rest.

So begun the pattern that they would follow for many weeks. While the nurses and doctors did their job keeping Shuichi as comfortable as possible and just going about their daily regimen that was required of them, Yuki and Shuichi's parents all took turns keeping watch over Shuichi. As the days drug on the visits gradually slowed and pretty much ground to a halt. While all of them were worried about Shuichi, life did not stop just because one person was unable to live his own. The band went on hiatus until farther notice and Yuki continued with his writing but if anyone noticed that his books were even more dark and foreboding than before no one had the courage to come out and directly tell him.

Although no one visited Shuichi as much as they had when he was first admitted to the hospital, there was not a day that didn't go by that someone didn't stop by to see him. Everyone had pretty much given up hope that he would ever wake from his coma, but no one wanted him to wake up without someone leaving a little something for him to wake up to.

As the weeks drug on, Yuki found himself falling into a pattern of getting up early in the morning and going to bed really late at night. He wondered the park that he had first meet Shuichi in and the clubs that he had frequented when he had been trying to deny the existents of the person waiting at home for him. As Yuki was trying to adjust to a life without Shuichi, he was finding that his greatest wish had actually come true and he was regretting ever asking for someone to get Shuichi away from him. He found that now he would give anything to walk into his apartment and have a hundred plus pound nuisance pouncing on him and declaring his love for him for all of their neighbors to hear.

Yuki walked into Shuichi's hospital room for his bi-weekly visit to find that someone had left a weird smelling plant on his bedside table. As he was walking over to inspect and to see if someone had left and name or something with it Shuichi's doctor walked in right behind him.

"Oh, hello Mr. Yuki," the doctor said as she walked over to check on Shuichi. "I don't know who left those flowers, but when my nurses came in here about two hours ago there was a strange looking man leaving them for Shuichi," she told him as she was writing something down on the chart.

"I thought only family and known friends was allowed in here to see Shuichi?" Yuki asked as he moved to stand near the doctor.

She nodded her head, "Yes, that is usually the policy, but we have been so busy around here with the flu and various other winter ailments that we can't always keep people from going where they are not supposed to go."

Yuki frowned before he asked, "Do you know what this man looked like?"

"No, I didn't see him, but the nurse did ask him to leave when she saw him in here and she said that he looked harmless and he seemed to be just curious about Shuichi's condition," she replied as she straighten Shuichi's covers and made to leave the room.

"Well, if any more of your staff notices anyone else in here that's not supposed to be then I would like for them to get any information on them that they can," Yuki said as he picked up Shuichi's hand to reassure himself that Shuichi was still alive and not in any kind of danger. He felt a twitch in the hand that he was holding, and at first he thought is was just wishful thinking on his part but when he felt it again his eyes flew to Shuichi's face. He felt a stab of disappointment when he saw his lover's eyes were still closed, but he could not deny the feeling of his fingers moving against his own. Reluctantly he released his hand so he could go and get the doctor.

"Could you tell exactly what he was doing?" Doctor Fumie asked as she checked the various machines that his lover was hooked up to.

"I was holding his hand and his fingers started twitching," Yuki replied as he watched her work. He wanted to grab his hand again but he didn't want to get on the doctor's way, so he settled for watching Shuichi's face.

"Well," she said as she wrote down her findings in the file, "It seems that he is coming around, but at this point I don't know how long it will be before he completely awakens."

"What about his other injuries?" Yuki asked as he moved back to Shuichi's bedside. He took hold of his hand again hoping for more movement, but Shuichi's hand remained as still as it had been for some time.

The doctor gave him a reassuring smile as she put the file back, "He is healing fine and should be completely healed in about two more weeks. As for the head injury, he seems to be pretty much healed from that, but like I told you before only time will tell if he suffers any permanent damage."

"Okay, thank you," Yuki said as he took a seat by Shuichi's bed, he would call everyone later and let them know about the new development on Shuichi's situation. Right now he just wanted to spend some quite time with him, before all of his friends and family crowed in to see him. He couldn't believe that it had only been a few weeks since the shooting it seemed to him that it had been years instead.

Everyone else that had been involved in the crash had been released a week ago and only Shuichi remained in the hospital. From what the doctor had told them about Shuichi's injuries, even if he did wake up he had lost so much blood and had already died once that there was a good possibility of him dying again. The only things that Shuichi had going for him at this point was that he was young and in great physical shape. Yuki hoped that in the end everything would work out for them because he did not want to thing about what his life would be like without Shuichi in it. These past couple of weeks had shown him that he did not want to make Shuichi's absents a permanent one. Finally Yuki got up to go and phone Shuichi's parents to let them know about their son.


	7. Chapter 7

a/n: I know if has almost been a year since I uploaded a new chapter, but I want to thank anyone that is still reading this after so long. It seems that this story is trying to develop into a science fiction fic, but hopefully I won't have to many more chapters for this.

As Yuki sat beside Shuichi waiting to see if he was going to move again, he looked over at the plant that was giving off a really weird smell. He didn't know who had left it here, but there seemed to be something weird about the plant. Yuki got up to go get rid of the plant and he felt the room move. He blinked his eyes trying to get rid of the dizzy feeling, but it seemed like the more he closed his eyes the faster the room spun around him. He felt himself falling forward but when he reached out to catch himself his hand slipped off of the bed and he hit the floor. The next thing he knew Shuichi's parents were shaking his shoulder asking him if he was alright.

Yuki groaned as he struggled to sit up, "What's going on?" he asked as Shuichi's mom put her hand on his shoulder holding him down.

"That's what we were wanting to know," she said as she glanced over at her son.

Yuki thought for a minute before he realized that the strange smell was gone. He looked around the room and saw that he was still laying on the floor and from what he could see of the night stand the plant was gone.

"The last thing I can remember is getting up to get rid of a strange smelling plant that was left by Shuichi's bedside," Yuki replied as he shook off the hand on his shoulder and sat up.

Shuichi's father gave him a confused look, "There was no strange plant when we got here, just you lying passed out on the floor," he said as he offered his hand to help Yuki up off the floor.

"Well, it was there and had a pretty nasty smell to it," Yuki told them as he moved to check on Shuichi. He was still lying in the same position that he had been before Yuki had passed out. After looking at him for a minute and not seeing any further movement he came to a stunning conclusion.

Yuki looked at Shuichi's parents with a thoughtful look on his face, "I think that plant was the cause of Shuichi's movements."

"What makes you say that?" Shuichi's father asked as he moved back to his customary place by the window.

Yuki thought for a minute, trying to get his thoughts is order so that he could explain it to them without confusing them or himself. He was no botanist, but after weeks of being at Shuichi's beside and not seeing any movement from him, it wasn't until the plant was left that he had shown any sign of still being alive.

"Well, the reason I brought it up is because after all this time no one has seen any change in him at all, but when this plant was brought into the room I saw and felt his hand moving. As you can see right now he's not moving," Yuki explained as he waved his hand over Shuichi encompassing the lack of movement from him.

Shuichi's mother nodded her head in agreement, "Yes, I see what you are talking about, but who left that thing in my son's room and who removed it?" she asked as she straightened Shuichi's covers and took his hand in hers. Yuki saw the same helplessness and hope on her face that he had felt himself. They both wanted him to come back to them, but despaired his ever waking up from the coma. His doctors had told them that most of his injuries had heal and there was no sign of brain damage, but for some reason a plant that someone had left in the room seemed to bring him out of his coma for just a little while, and Yuki wanted to know who the person was and what that plant had been.

Dr. Olson watered the plant that he had managed to grab from Shuichi Shindo's room. He had found the plant in a remote part of a jungle in South America when he had been down there doing some medical research. He liked going to different countries and finding new and interesting plants and cures. This particular plant had been said to have the power to wake a person from a coma no matter what the cause of the coma had been. They told him that the person need only to be in the vicinity of the plant and they would wake up in about two to twenty four hours. They couldn't tell him what it was that woke the patient up, but were able to tell him that it was probably the smell that did it. The plant stood about three feet high when fully grown and had small purple and yellow flowers on it and deep green waxy looking leaves. There didn't seem to be any special kind of food needed to keep it alive, so Dr. Olson didn't have to worry about any special equipment catching anyone's eye. No one knew what kind of research he was doing, and he wanted to keep it that way. He knew that if he was every caught doing experiments on people without their permission he would lose his license.

He had been warned though that the plant had a nasty way of killing the person that it had woken up, so he had brought the plant back with him to Tokyo to see if he could grow it for himself, so that he might be able to find out what it was in the plant that killed people. Not everyone that had been exposed to the plant had died though, there seemed to be some sort of allergic reaction to the plant that only a few people seemed to have.

He put a slide under the microscope that had a sample of Shuichi's blood on it to see if he could spot any irregularities in the blood, but as before everything looked normal. He had tried the plant on about a dozen other patients and every time the plant had done exactly as the local people had warned him it would. They told him that at first the patient would wake up and act like everything was fine, but it seemed that the plant led to false hope and eventually the patient would succumb to some unknown virus.

As he looked through the notes he had made for each patient he tried to make some sort of connection between each of them, but many of the patients had nothing in common. The reasons for the comas varied and the way that each person went about their lives also differed. Dr. Olson put Shuichi's information in a folder and marked it as unknown for the time of death. Shuichi had only just regained consciousness, so he would have to wait and see if the virus had caught hold of him too. Just as Dr. Olson was about to shut off the lights to his lab, he remembered that Shuichi's lover had also gotten a good sniff of the plant and had passed out from it. He walked back to his desk and pulled out his notes about the people that were still conscious when they were exposed to the plant. As he read over what he had written down he saw that Shuichi's lover would show some signs of the virus, but it would not have the same affect on him that it would have on Shuichi. The symptoms would probably include dizziness, vomiting, and possibly more episodes of fainting, but it seemed to after a couple of days even those symptoms would disappear.

Dr. Olson realized that if he could get a hold of a sample of Shuichi's lover's blood he might be able to find out why the plant killed coma patients and not people that were conscious. He had thought that maybe the drugs that were in the patient's systems were the reason the plant killed them because it reacted negatively with the drugs that were used to keep the people alive. He had used the plant on other patients though that were also in the hospital and on medicine, but none of them had died from the virus so he had ruled out the possibility of the plant reacting negatively to the drugs in their systems. He was trying to stay away from the possibility that the plant killed them was because of the fact that there was some other force at work besides just the sense of smell. He knew that some people were just more susceptible to certain things and that their minds were weaker against attacks, but what he couldn't figure out was what it was that killed them.

As he sat there trying to come up with away to get Yuki's blood he glanced over at the plant and saw something moving, but when he got up to see what it was he didn't see any thing there. For as long as he had been sitting beside to plant he had never noticed anything out of the ordinary about it, but now for some reason he was getting an uneasy feeling. Dr. Olson shook himself to try and get rid of the nagging feeling that had just washed over him. He chalked it up to him pushing himself to hard and put away the files. He figured that it would probably be best if he just waited until tomorrow to see if he could get any more research done. As he shut the lights off he didn't see the little green bug that had crawled out of the plant pot and land on the table. He also didn't see the bug flying across the room to land on his head, but he did feel something crawling across his face and he just brushed it off and continued on his way.

As Shuichi's mother sat holding her son's hand more of his friends started showing up. After Yuki had called Shuichi's parents, he called Tohma to let him know the news and Tohma had apparently taken it onto himself to call everyone else because Hiro was the first one to arrive followed by Suguru and K. The last ones to show up were Tohma and Mika.

"Tohma told us that Shuichi has finally started showing signs of waking up," Hiro said as he walked over to where Yuki and Shuichi's parents where standing by Shuichi's bed.

"He woke up but only after some kind of weird plant was left in his room, I haven't had a chance to find out who the person was that left the plant in here but it seems to be the cause of Shuichi regaining consciousness," Yuki replied as he looked back toward Shuichi to see if he was moving anymore. Yuki thought he saw Shuichi's eyes moving, at first he didn't see any movement, but then Shuichi blinked and look right at him before closing his eyes again.

Yuki gasped as he reached around Shuichi's mother to put his hand on Shuichi's arm, "Shuichi, are you awake?" Yuki asked.

Shuichi's mother had been looking at Hiro when she heard Yuki asked his question, but when she looked back toward her son she saw the same thing that Yuki had. Just as she noticed his eyes moving she felt a squeeze on her hand and Shuichi started making groaning noises. When he blinked and looked around his mom gave a cry of joy and tried to throw herself onto him, but her husband held her back.

"Aya, just a minute you don't know if he even knows who we are," Mr. Shindo cautioned as he took in the confused look on Shuichi's face. Tohma had the presence of mind to call for the doctor to come in and take a look at Shuichi. They were all hoping that she could tell them something about the condition that Shuichi might be in. Before the doctor arrived though Shuichi started to gasp for air and a nurse rushed in to see what the problem was. When she saw that Shuichi was having trouble breathing, she grabbed the oxygen mask that was hanging by the bed, turned it on, and put it over his mouth and nose.

"Shuichi, can you hear me?" she asked as she started taking his vitals and recording them onto his chart. Shuichi gave a weak nod of as he looked around at the people standing in his room.

"You have been in a coma for about three weeks now," she explained as she adjusted the oxygen. "You're still healing from some of your wounds, so it would be best not to move around much for awhile."

Shuichi nodded in understanding as he opened his mouth to ask a question. The nurse put her hand on his shoulder to stop him. "No, don't speak right now. We need to keep the oxygen mask on for a while until we are sure that you can breath on your own." As the nurse was cautioning Shuichi against talking the doctor walked through the door and everyone shifted around trying to make more room for her.

She looked around at all the people in the room before she motioned for them to leave. "I need all of you to go outside for a minute while we look Shuichi over and see how he's doing. When I say he can visitors I think it would be best for only two people at a time come it to see him," she told them as she picked up Shuichi's chart to see what the nurse had written down. As Hiro and the rest of the band left, Shuichi's parents and Yuki stalled for a moment while they watched the doctor work on Shuichi, but when the doctor gave them a questioning look they turned around and left the room. When they got outside they found that everyone else had gone to the waiting room, that was at the end of the hallway. As they walked down to join the rest of the group Shuichi's mother gave Yuki a concerned look.

"Are you alright?" she asked him as she put her hand on his arm to stop him.

Yuki looked down into her concerned brown eyes and felt the weeks catching up to him, but all he said was that he was alright before he continued on to the waiting room. He would find time later on to let all the emotions go that he had been keeping bottled up for the past three weeks, but for now he would just act like there was nothing wrong. He was trying to think of a way of letting Shuichi know how much he cared for him, but he had a feeling that it would not go the way that he wanted it to go. When he got to the waiting room there was no more time for thinking. Everyone seemed to be talking at once, each trying to figure out why Shuichi had woken up after being in a coma for so long. When Yuki and Shuichi's parents walked into the room they all shut up and turned toward the door waiting for a explanation about Shuichi's condition.

Tohma was the first one to speak as he walked over to stand next to Yuki, "Did the doctor tell you any thing before you left the room?" he asked,

Yuki shook his head as he moved away from Tohma to sit down. He had been up for close to two days waiting to see if Shuichi would show anymore signs of improvement.

"The only thing that the doctor said to us, was that after he was through with Shuichi that only two of us at a time would be allowed to go in to see him," Shuichi's father spoke up as he walked farther into the room. He looked around at all of the people that had come to see Shuichi and he again was hit with how lucky his son was to have as many friends as he did. He remembered some of the people that he had gone to school with that had come out to everyone and had been shunned because of it. He knew that if Shuichi had been born in another time and had chosen another career then he might have ended up in the hospital long before now.

As he led his wife over to a vacant chair he looked around trying to see if he could identify some of the people that were there. He saw Shuichi's two band mates and his manager standing next to the door and to the right of them he saw a blond haired man that looked like an American, but for the life of him he could not place his name. Next he looked to the left of the door and identified the man standing there as the owner of the music business that Shuichi went through and a woman that looked a little bit like Yuki.

After he got his wife settled into a chair he turned back to look at the other people in the room. "I want to tell you all how grateful I am that you dropped everything you were doing to come here and see Shuichi in this stressful time."

At first everyone looked at him like he had spoken a different language, but Hiro walked over to Mr. Shindo and put his hands in front of his body with his fingers placed in the middle of his chest. He bowed first to Shuichi's dad and then his mother in greeting.

"Sir, do you know anything about that plant that Yuki mentioned?" Hiro asked as he straightened back up.

Mr. Shindo shook his head, "I didn't see any plant. Yuki was the only one in the room when it was there, so he could tell you more about it."

Hiro nodded in understanding as he turned to Yuki, "Well, what can you tell us about it?" Hiro asked as he walked over to stand next to Yuki.

Yuki thought for a moment as he tired to remember what the plant looked like and the sensations that it had caused.


End file.
